Easter bunny, tooth fairy, global warming ...

The Easter bunny, tooth fairy and global warming are childhood myths that make us reach for our wallet to continue their illusion. But the latter is going to cost us far more than plastic grass and hard-boiled eggs or occasional quarters under a pillow.

As a "strategic communicator" for a Fortune 500 electric utility that sought to corner the market (at least the entire western grid), I was one of several assigned to research industry Godzillas who potentially might stomp on our shareholders' Tokyo -- acid rain, electro-magnetic fields (EMFs) and global warming to be exact.

You see, the thing most dear to CEO and VP hearts -- their golden parachutes -- depended on identifying threats that could endanger their company's status and profits. So each issue was researched thoroughly.

Acid rain? Nothing to it. Coal-fired power plants were not guilty of doing damage where their smoke drifted. No, soil content was found to be acidic long before the advent of electricity.

EMFs? "Ummm, maybe it would be best to watch where we build power lines so the incidence of cancer in children living nearby isn't increased to a level that attracts public attention," the brass was told. In other words, evidence was serious enough to be carefully watchful.

And global warming? A political hoax, obvious back in the '80s. Whatever existed in "scientific evidence" was more than offset by factually supported data that pointed to climatic cycles. Besides, the board was urged, look at who's behind the still unproven theory.

Then as now, they are socialistic radicals intent on championing any cause that sticks it to corporate America, hastening the day of doom for hated capitalism.

Number Obama among them. Remember, it was Barack who welcomed summer's skyrocketing gas prices. Why? Because jumps at the pumps would help condition Americans to go along with socialistic mass transit and accept the radical environmental agenda intent on turning the United States into just another European country.

BHO would like nothing better than for us to junk our SUVs and oil up our bicycles. Boy, all those expensive-but-unused bike lanes should start looking good to us any day now.

Drill here; drill now; pay less? Well, terrorist-supporting OPEC sure did drop the price of gas like a heavy rock in order to scuttle that issue and get their candidate elected. What's a little less money to some of the richest men in the world when they can help put their choice in the Oval Office who will surrender Iraq without a shot and backburner the war on terror.

So energy independence now is off the table at Democrat-dominated Congress and at the left-leaning White House -- all in keeping with whatever it takes to undercut capitalism. Saving our planet from the dreaded hoax of global warming now will go into overdrive.

Expect power-hungry politicians to blacklist scientists who reject global warming alarmism, for congressmen to threaten companies that fund climate-change dissenters, for public schools to preach the unfounded theory as solid as evolution, and for mainstream media to ignore or smear any who dare speak the truth.

Unscrupulous scientists candidly admit the need to twist the facts to paint an uglier picture in order to greedily fool a misled public into accepting their conjecture as gospel while of course keeping our tax money flowing.

As for me, it's laughable if they weren't so deadly serious about the sham. I like what former senator Fred Thompson said:

“It seems scientists have noticed recently that quite a few planets in our solar system seem to be heating up a bit, including Pluto. This has led some people, not necessarily scientists, to wonder if Mars and Jupiter, non-signatories to the Kyoto Treaty, are actually inhabited by alien SUV-driving industrialists who run their air-conditioning at 60 degrees and refuse to recycle.”

You know, twice this fall I've dusted snow off my car here in Virginia -- and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Right now, as I shiver on a 32-degree afternoon, I realize I can't stand much more of this politically inspired global warming.

Oh, but it's just a weather cycle, proponents counter. To which I say, my point exactly.